Abuse impacted survivors’ spiritual, mental and physical health

113. The extensive and interconnected impacts of abuse in faith-based institutions have distinct elements due to the culture, attitudes and beliefs within these organisations. The power held by those in religious ministry meant that care in faith-based settings provided opportunities for spiritual abuse and manipulation. Spiritual abuse intersected with, and enabled, physical, sexual or emotional abuse. It intensified the impacts of that abuse by giving it a spiritual dimension, for example, feeling guilty or ‘sinful’ after sexual abuse.

114. Expert witness Dr Thomas Doyle told the Inquiry:

“The spiritual trauma suffered by victims of clerics is real. Some refer to it as ‘soul murder’ and if one speaks to enough victims this label is tragically apparent. The priest has been an icon of the transcendent... Two psychologists who have been extensively involved in working with Catholic victims have agreed that sexual violation by a priest has a profoundly traumatic effect precisely because of the spiritual dimension.”[90]

115. Some survivors spoke about being triggered when encountering situations, they associated with their religious abusers. Māori survivor Gypsy Wright (Ngāti Kahu) told the Inquiry:

“If I ever see a priest, it triggers me and I want to have a go at them. I can’t help myself. I went to my niece’s wedding last year not knowing that it would be at a Catholic Church. As soon as the priest walked into the church, the smell that I connect to them overpowered me and I had to go outside. It has deeply affected me and fucked me up with no doubt. I missed out on seeing my niece get married because I could not handle being there.”[91]

Faith-based institutions failed to respond to reports of abuse and neglect

116. Survivors who were abused in faith-based settings such as education, care homes, adoption, foster care and pastoral care experienced abuse that impacted their spiritual, mental and physical health. Abuse also impacted their relationships with loved ones, whānau, kainga and community, and their connection to their culture. Survivor Mr OA said:

“The boys’ home stripped me of all my innocence, dignity, my self-belief and self-esteem. Hope was taken from me just like that.”[92]

117. Dr Doyle told the Inquiry that sexual abuse within a spiritual or religious context can severely damage a survivor’s ability to find spiritual security anywhere. He also said that previous spiritual and religious beliefs and the concept of a loving God can be radically altered, if not destroyed.[93]

118. Survivors spoke of not believing in God anymore after being abused by religious leaders. Survivor Carla Mann shared: “Religion has been something I dabbled in for a short time, but I didn’t last very long. I would think that if there was a God, how could he have let these things happen to me”.[94]

119. The abuse or neglect in care experienced by a survivor from a representative of God can result in a loss of trust and confidence in the faith, the faith institution or in everything or everyone. The Inquiry heard from survivors who had been abused by people in ministry that their religious upbringing made them feel a sense of blame or responsibility for the abuse. As some survivors were taught to believe a person in ministry was God-like and incapable of sin, this led the survivor to think that they were themselves a sinner, that the abuse was their fault, or they were complicit in some way.

120. Pākehā survivor Jacinda Thompson was sexually and psychologically abused under the guise of pastoral care through grief counselling by her parish priest, following the death of her baby son:

“I thought it must all be my fault; [he] was a man of God. I thought that I had hurt everyone; that if I’d dealt with my grief better, none of it would have happened.”[95]

121. The Inquiry heard that when faith-based institutions responded inappropriately to allegations of abuse and neglect, or failed to act, the abuse would often continue, either with the same victim or with other victims. Survivors who reported abuse were significantly negatively impacted by the lack of action from, or inappropriate response of, institutions and sometimes their families. Survivor Ms NI, who was abused by a Presbyterian minister in Napier, told the Inquiry:

“The trauma level of what [he] did to me was not huge compared to the impact of the lack of action. The effects of the lack of action on my self-esteem and self-worth, the relationship with my mother, have been huge. If it had been dealt with then, my life would have been different …”

“Over the years I have dreamt about confronting him directly, but I never did. By the time I realised I could, it was too late, and he had died. There are institutional structures that have protected the perpetrators of abuse and shattered the lives of their victims in the process. Churches need to acknowledge their part and do better, much better than just putting fancy words on their websites.” [96]

Survivors lost family and friends if they reported abuse

122. Survivors who left their faith voluntarily or were excommunicated could experience a loss of faith and a subsequent loss of family, friends, and community as they were sometimes barred from contacting remaining members, including family.

123. Clem Ready told the Inquiry he and his wife are shunned from the Gloriavale Christian Community but remain living on the site in a tiny room with limited access to basic facilities. He said:

“At the age of 67 I am still working full-time in an effort to meet the financial needs of myself and my wife. Having been denied the fruits of our, and our children’s, very considerable labour for 43 and 45 years respectively Sharon and I have very few assets and have effectively been denied our retirement.”[97]

Impacts for Takatāpui, Rainbow and MVPFAFF+ survivors

124. Takatāpui, Rainbow and MVPFAFF+ survivors told the Inquiry that they were targeted and experienced abuse and neglect in either or both faith-based and psychiatric settings due to their sexual orientation.

125. Rainbow survivors of faith-based care told the Inquiry that homophobia and traditional gender expectations within the church affected their feelings of self-worth.

126. Gender identity discrimination is new to many Pacific Peoples and Māori, and its development has been influenced by religion and  colonisation.[98]At the Inquiry’s Pacific Rainbow MVPFAFF+ talanoa, survivors shared the cultural acceptance of fa’afafine within Samoan culture.[99]

127. Mr UB, a Rainbow MVPFAFF+ survivor and expert witness, told the Inquiry that, as a Māori and Tongan fakaleiti, he survived two instances of conversion practice – one that was initiated by the church and the other that was initiated by his school.[100]In the first instance, Mr UB was made to attend a counselling session where “a discussion was had about the incompatibility between being gay and the beliefs of the church”.[101]As a result, he began to withdraw from the church. Reflecting on his experiences, Mr UB shared that they taught him that “Christianity is unwilling to entertain the idea that Rainbow people are worthy recipients of gods [sic] love” and that this “undermines the idea that Christianity is in any way sincere.”[102]

Impacts for Māori survivors

128. Survivors at faith-based boarding schools for Māori experienced similar forms of abuse as in other settings, including sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse. They also experienced specific forms of cultural abuse and neglect. Survivors therefore shared many of the same impacts as other survivors of other settings, including:
a. whakamā
b. mental distress including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
c. substance abuse and addictions
d. loss of identity and disconnection from culture, whakapapa, whānau, hapū and iwi
e. loss of trust
f. loneliness
g. undertaking an activity or activities that resulted in imprisonment and grappling
with associated prejudice from whānau, hapū, iwi and communities
h. educational and cultural neglect
i. feeling ‘incarcerated mentally’.

129. Some survivors who experienced abuse at faith-based boarding schools for Māori, died by taking their own lives.[103]Survivors of faith-based schools for Māori often rejected their culture outright after being abused in an environment that was supposed to be grounded in te ao Māori. Some no longer identify as Māori.

130. Kamahl Tupetagi told the Inquiry he was abused at Hāto Pāora College in Aorangi Feilding. He had grown up in a Pākehā world and was physically and psychologically abused by senior students for his lack of Māoritanga. He was punished if he made mistakes during culture practice, sang the wrong words, did not know the words, did the wrong actions, or did not speak Māori properly. Tragically for Kamahl Tupetagi, his only opportunity to connect with his culture was in the severely abusive environment at Hāto Pāora:

“I would have wanted to have much more involvement with my own culture, as I think it would have given me a sense of myself and a sense of belonging … My learning was at Hāto Pāora, at a time when I experienced an enormous amount of abuse.”[104]

131. Mr KZ (Tainui, Ngāti Apa) hated himself because of the sexual abuse he suffered at Hāto Pāora:[105]

“Hato Pāora was a school focused on being Māori and being Catholic. After what happened to me there, I lost my faith in God, I am trying to reconnect with faith at the moment. Hato Pāora also made me dislike my Māori heritage and I feel like I lost my connection with my culture.”[106]

132. For those survivors in this setting that did positively connect with their Māori identity, some described the impact of abuse in terms of tikanga Māori. Mr LN said:

“While I am not a practising Catholic, I have a strong sense of Christian belief and spirituality. That, together with my Māoritanga, are things that anchor me … I feel like [that teacher] stole my mana. I felt dirty, and ashamed and there was nobody to help me.”[107]

Impacts for unmarried mothers and survivors who were adopted out

133. Survivors who were forced to give up their babies for adoption experienced immeasurable and intergenerational trauma.

134. Māori survivor Ms AF was adopted into a Catholic family: “There was a violent structure to my adoption. They were complicit in stripping me of my whakapapa and this violence was felt throughout my life. When I was adopted, it severed my connection to my whānau and whenua.”[108]When she became pregnant at 18 years old, she was sent to a “Catholic Nun’s home for unwed mothers”[109]and forced to adopt her son out[110] damaging relationships within her biological and adoptive whānau.[111]

135. Survivors who were adopted out through close or forced adoptions spoke about being severed from their whānau, whenua and knowledge of their whakapapa – essentially robbing them of their identity, and an identity they could pass on to future generations. Māori survivors explained that being adopted by Pākehā legally disconnected them from their culture, whānau and whenua and from their knowledge of their whakapapa. This loss of connection continued through subsequent generations.[112]

Impacts on families and communities

136. Abuse in faith-settings have had wider impacts on families and communities. This abuse has led to the breakdown of many families, where the allegations or experiences survivors were not believed. In some instances, families chose their faith and church over their family members. Survivors were ostracised and close friendships and lifelong relationships were destroyed by the abuse that occurred. School communities have also been impacted by abuse and neglect in faith-based schools. Where there has been abuse by peers or staff, not only does the abuse affect the student and their family,[113]there is also a ripple effect impacting other students, their parents and families, other staff members and the wider school community, including previous students and alumni.

Footnotes

[90]Witness statement of Dr Thomas Doyle (9 March 2021, para 324). See also Dr Leslie Lothstein, Institute for Living, Connecticut, Interview with Katherine DiGuilio (June 17, 2002, published in National Catholic Reporter, 9 August 2002).
[91]Witness statement of Donald Wright (1 July 2021, para 100)
[92]Witness statement of Mr OA (19 October 2020, para 24)
[93]Witness statement of Dr Thomas Doyle (9 March 2021, page 118, para 329).
[94] Witness statement of Carla Mann (15 March 2022, page 10).
[95] Witness statement of Jacinda Thompson (30 September 2020, para 13
[96]Witness statement of Ms NI (28 April 2022, para 46).
[97]Witness statement of Clem Ready (30 May 2022, page 35).
[98] Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care engagement, Pacific Rainbow MVPFAFF+ talanoa (22 September 2022, pages 24–25, 28, 41–45).
[99]Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care engagement, Pacific Rainbow MVPFAFF+ talanoa (22 September 2022, pages 17–18).
[100]Witness statement of Mr UB (3 April 2022, para 55).
[101]Witness statement of Mr UB (3 April 2022, para 57).
[102]Witness statement of Mr UB (3 April 2022, para 64).
[103]Collective submission of attendees at Hato Pāora and Hato Pētera Wānanga (4 October 2022, page 2).
[104]Witness statement of Kamahl Tupetagi (3 October 2021, paras 153–154).
[105]Witness statement of Mr KZ (24 May 2022, paras 46–47).
[106]Witness statement of Mr KZ (24 May 2022, paras 46–47).
[107]Witness statement of Mr LN (19 July 2022, paras 39–43).
[108]Witness statement of Ms AF (13 August 2021, page 15, para 14.6).
[109]Witness statement of Ms AF (13 August 2021, page 7, para 8.1).
[110]Witness statement of Ms AF (13 August 2021, page 8, para 8.2).
[111]Witness statement of Ms AF (13 August 2021, page 13, paras 12.8 and 12.10).
[112]Witness statement of Ms AF (13 August 2021, page 2).
[113]Transcript of evidence of Tina Cleary ( 30 November 2020, pages 80–82); Witness statement of Mr BF (20 September 2020, page 6)